The Doldrums

London, England

Forgive the delay. I started writing a post but it turned into an op-ed on the current state of America (I seem to be writing a lot of those lately), and I had to finish it before I could begin again. I fell down that rabbit hole because… well… I’m returning to the U.S. at the end of the year, and I’m having to reconcile myself to its current state.

I had really hoped to ride out this current administration abroad but the job market here is proving increasingly challenging. The UK has laid off 12,000 employees across academia this past year, with 3,000 more anticipated before the end of 2025. I’m finding fewer and fewer companies who are willing to offer visas for foreign residents. And also, I’m really struggling to be an ocean away from my daughter.

I’ve certainly opened the door to a multitude of possibilities and given fate every possible chance to deliver. I have been open to all the possibilities. But the idea of living within relative proximity to so many amazing humans that I love is comforting. I feel a lot of peace around this decision.

So, I’ll be in Charlottesville for Christmas and then plan to head up to the Boston area, where I’ve already recalibrated my job search. Why Boston? Colder weather, for a start (sorry, Virginia, but you are wildly out of control with your heat and humidity!) (and yes, I know… be careful what you ask for). And proximity to a bevy of academic institutions. I’m not a city girl but I might have to do some time in order to get the next chapter of my life off the ground.

It’s a terrible time to be looking for a job, period. America is a dumpster fire… there’s no way around that. It makes my heart ache to watch it disintegrate in such a way. I’m not particularly looking forward to navigating insane housing prices and healthcare costs (people complain here but they truly have no idea… NO IDEA!) But I also have felt helpless all the way across the pond. Returning home, I will at least have the sense of fighting alongside people who are currently voiceless and powerless.

I am increasingly eager to settle into the next chapter of my life. I’m in the doldrums now, blowing wind into my own sails. Each day I wake up and give myself a huge-ass pep talk. I’ve waited a long time to arrive at this point in my life- one where I have autonomy over my decisions… armed with perspective and a sense of self… the ability to pursue options that match my worth and passions (I likely always had that ability but not that belief). I’m trying to enjoy the ride as much as possible.

I have one more week in the London area and then I head back to Wales for my final month, to the next town over from where I previously stayed. I am THRILLED to return to the area. I’ll be foisting all my American Thanksgiving glee onto my newfound friends.

Sending love from London!